The way it should be

Clearing leave during the last few days of 08. Only two mths to ORD!!! *grinz*

Nowdays, Im becoming a regular night owl. Hangin wif da mad bunch lot till e wee hrs of da morning, snoozing till 12+ and den head back out again. And I dun tink I had enuff.

Plans for the upcoming wk? New Year Countdown at _______________ (fill in the blanks)

Random pleasures are my thing.

Under the damn cold weather

Im sick. again. Medication's got me all drowsy... aaaaahhhhhh.......


I wanna stay in bed.

Changeling

OK.. this sudden change in my behaviour + attitude is starting to claim its victims. It seems that my natural 'rebellious' side rears it ugly head and the chains of restraint is snapping away one by one. What I fear is that I am my own casualty.

Blessing

Its in front of me, again and this time Im taking it like a man. No more running, its an opportunity I cannot let go.

Note to self..

"Must stick to the plan... This is NO time to side track. Its not over yet..."

I'm.not.ok.dot.com.

Today I've learned an Interesting (and fucking irritating) fact:

"Educated to at least high school standard"

FYI people, in Singapore context means: "Go get a Diploma!!!!"

Don't be fooled by that innocent statement. Its all mentally twisted.

Three Things...

...Can't leave home without: Wallet, Keys & HP

...Must have: Faith, Hope & Dreams

...I carry along all the time: Brains, Heart & Legs


So, what three things should you have (or not) ?

OVERLOAD

I've got issues. Heck. We all got issues. Got a shock of my life when Im otw home at Boon Lay Int. The entire MRT station was jam-packed with people. I tot its the usual evening rush hour, but when I got a closer look EVERYONE was crammed at the control station. At first, tot its like "Org2 g jemaah Haji" coz there was one way up, three ways down. The cause? One of the escalators was under maintenance. DOTZDOTZDOTZ. I've seen n been in that situation b4. But never thought its came down to this.

Brownie Mania-c

Yesterday I went over to my friend Aufas' open house. Typical buffet style with all-you-can eat lineup but with a little twist: HE COOK MOST OF THE DISHES HIMSELF. Nope, mom was'nt inc in all this. He's the man of the day n with everyone labelling him "Chef Wan" lol.

The one thing that made this open house different from the rest that I've been to is the food. My god, its like eating hotel standard. And there's this zasparella (I think thats wats it called) salad item which is DAMN NICE LOR.

Then there's the brownies. One word: Heaven. There were two types, The walnut filling (which shoots me up to space) n ALL CHOCOLATE WITH A THICK SLAB OF CHOCOLATE ON TOP (which sends me to hyperspace) damn, I cant explain more... I let the pix do all the talking....

The deco...

Puffs, Kuihs n BrOwN!EzZ

The dessert from heaven (Top left: Walnut Brownie Top right: All Chocolate Brownie)

Im enjoying it so much that I did'nt notice the camera snapping at me

Menjelang Syawal

Day 1 of Hari Raya over. But the Festivities still continue. I still dont feel the mood to celebrate though. Friends in NS, hectic life (even though Im nearing the finish line) and ORD people who jumped right into work-life. There's always next year, but Im still celebrating anyway..

Formula for success

F1 finally in town. After much hype and months of public awareness, the world finally see our nation as more than just a trade hub. MMs' visions are becoming a reality far more than what we can imagine.

Now where can I fit in all this as the big pieces finally come together?

The journey towards that goal of mine now branches out like trees. There's opportunity to go back to further education or to start on that airline career of mine. Either way, Its hard to see myself being unemployed.

Lil' something..

And there you are...





WHENever, WHEREever, WHOever ...





For all the times we've had so far, Thanks for the Memories...





All the ups N downs...





Not to mention ur crappiness-ness(LOL)

Nuff said..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIM 'ALI' MUHAMMAD !!

That's the Way it Is

I can read your mind and I know your story
I see what you're going through
It's an uphill climb, and I'm feeling sorry
But I know it will come to you

Don't surrender 'cause you can win
In this thing called love

When you want it the most there's no easy way out
When you're ready to go and your heart's left in doubt
Don't give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And that's the way it is

When you question me for a simple answer
I don't know what to say, no
But it's plain to see, if you stick together
You're gonna find a way, yeah

So don't surrender 'cause you can win
In this thing called love

When you want it the most there's no easy way out
When you're ready to go and your heart's left in doubt
Don't give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And that's the way it is

When life is empty with no tomorrow
And loneliness starts to call
Baby, don't worry, forget your sorrow'
Cause love's gonna conquer it all, all

When you want it the most there's no easy way out
When you're ready to go and your heart's left in doubt
Don't give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And that's the way it is

Smoke signals

What I thought would be another routine and mundane day turns out to be.... well.... a day everybody wants to have. Supposedly todays' detail at 4th div was to be like any other detail, But this time when I stepped in the lecture room, Zul n Sazali were sitting at the front of the room, chattting and I noticed I'm the early bird. "So where's Farhan?" I kept telling myself. Usually he's the first to arrive,Its not like him to be late. When I asked Zul what time the participants are coming, he told me dat this whole event might be a smoke. I got confused. "What the hell is a smoke?" then they told me that this is another event which most likely did'nt happen at all. True enough, Fadli who was in the room but went upstairs gave a call to Sazali signalling that this was all a "smoke". Something worth learning today.

So I waited for a couple of minutes, Then Harie came along, also dumbfounded why Farhan was'nt here yet. Hafidz was running late this morning btw. At last around 9.45 am, the man himself arrived. Said something about the bus broke down while doing the "tumbling" effect with his fingers. "So did the bus tumble?" I jokingly asked him. He grinned and said that the bus DID broke down. But without the tumbling. So there we were, Me, Harie,Farhan, Sazali, Zul & Hafidz (Finally came at 10am and told him this event was a smoke. Gave me the 'Im lost' look and had to explain to him) talking about our lives in NS. The good, bad, ugly, fugly and what-nots came out especially the office politics part.

So we just laugh out hearts out knowing that this is a good time to de-stress after weeks of marathon work.

Claimed my 1/2 day today and full day off tomorrow (YAY!!) I can kick bak and relax...

Coming up...

Here's a line-em-up of events which I'm damn looking forward to:

AIDILFITRI!!

After 1 month of fasting and abstaining from doing 'bad stuff', its time to usher in the new Islamic Year with new resolutions

CANON PHOTOMARATHON

Finally. An opportunity to expose & test my photography skills. This is where I'll show Monsieur NaDrEs what Im capable of. I'm ready. ARE YOU???

Da Next OIC for CEPP
I have the power. But it comes with Responsibility. Here I go Again

CLEARING!!

Means three things: O-R-D OH!!!!

Revelation

Its funny how you got answers to the questions you ask and through prayers. But to me this is more then just miracles, I see it like a path being cleared the way for me.

In light of recent events regarding the relationship status of two of my best friends, I suddenly realized that all those advices and constant reminders from my parents all came true. What I did'nt expect was that it had to happen to our circle.

It must've been devastating to have a four-year relationship to crash and burn just as things are starting to look bright. SHE started seeing someone else and questioning the current BF about their integrity together, while HE still cares and loves for her. In the end Allah SWT always have a master plan. On another scene, THIER relationship initially blossomed with full green-ness. But again communication and understanding issues rained down on THEM as they cant get into terms with each other. So now they gave themselves time-off to reflect on their past actions.

As for me I've always wanted to experience the joys of relationship and prayed that I'd found the significant other but after seeing all this series of unfortunate events, Its time to find a new path. Like I mentioned, Allahs' Master Plan. It take it its not the time for me yet.

Week two of the fasting month. Time does fly when you're having fun. Well, in this case having fun with my friends. In two weeks we'll be celebrating the Islamic new year, an annual event not to be missed.

But what will be missed will be my senior instructors. Seems just like yesterday I came into the branch and now me and the rest of the juniors are taking over the act. Who can forget the fun-loving, dysfunctional misfits? Soon it will be my turn to run the last lap.

Today marks the 7th Annivarsay of the 9/11 terrorist attacks in the US. We remember the Men and Women who perished on that day of infamy. And we watched, heard and felt the magnitude of that event that sent shockwaves around the globe and plunged humanity into its' darkest hour. Prayers to all the lives that were lost on that day.

Its been one week since the fasting month starts and few weeks ago, my body feels like its self-adapted to the wake-up-damn-early and break fast-after-seven routine. In between (daytime) life goes on as normal and pray 5 times daily. (Yes I know its no excuse even though we're in this thing called NS).

TODAY - 06/09/08

Morning. Work as usual. yep. CEPP. Practically this entire month I'll be marathon-ing (again). Can't believe we had 3 straight days of St Johns Amb Brigade coming to 4th div for their basic course. Glad that we only had to go through First aid with them then chow off. CDAU peeps taking over the show after dat.

Afternoon. collapsed on my nice comfy bed. lost conciousness 5 min l8r n dozed off till 3pm.

Later dat evening. Went out with the family to Geylang to shop around for Aidilfitri. I think ya'll noe the situation there every year so I wont elaborate. Got me nice (& damn cheap) clothing this year. with quality somemore! (clothes are from A.Niz fashion btw..) Then we practically raided Raja Kuih at the Tg katong side scouting around for nice cookies. No we're not baking tarts or cookies due to our hectic schedule. (but that does'nt stop me from attempting one..provided my off days still full..hahaha) At the same time buy some snacks since its already 1845 hrs!!

To think we could make home in time to break fast, Suddenly in the middle of ECP inside my dads' van: "Allah hu Akhbar!, Allah hu Akhbar!" I looked at my watch: "god its 705 pm!!"

yeap, its fast food..literally.

Made a detour to Harbourfront to have our REAL dinner. Den head back home. Was raining heavily btw.

Tomorrow. deja vu all over again.

My Favourite Toy...

Guess what I got myself at the recent COMEX @ Suntec?? Give up?

If ya'll been following my last few entries, you might have figured out what I've been needing the most.

I GOT MYSELF A DSLR!!!

After this whole time, the wait is finally over. My photography dreams can now come true. It was a tough choice between Canon, Nikon & Sony since these three have been the hottest selling brands here in Singapore. In the end I bought a SONY ALPHA A200. Reason?

1) Its affordable (e price went down e last time I checked)

2) The body has built-in stabilzer unlike Nikon which has VR in its lenses.

3) FREEBIES!!! (Dry cabinet, cleaning appratus, camera bag, 2x4GB CF cards, filter lens..) what more can I ask?? @ least I got the basics...

30 days...

Ramadhan has arrived n greeted us muslims once again. Annual practice carried out by every muslim individual who are sound n well.

With the first day passed by, I had to make minor adjustments to the daily hum-drum which I've been doing this whole while. Wake up EARLY2 in the morning, abstaining the hunger n thirst (n not forgetting keeping the soul in "inner peace") followed by the break of the fast at dusk. My night-time routine usually follows with the Terawih prayers at Masjidul Hasanah. And the cycle goes on and on for the next 29 days.

Rain-ed

Went for the 2nd day of the Fireworks Festival. Its gets better and better everytime. These firework displays never fail to impress us. Above are some photos from last nights EXPLOSIVE event. (btw, these shots were taken in e rain... yes, its was drizzling last night)

What I've been waiting...

Looking forward to another free-time day. Went to marina together wif Nad, Lim n Mizi. Supposedly a bigger group, but plans dont always turn right. Anyway we're there for a purpose, to catch e FIREWORKS FESTIVAL!!! something I've been looking forward to these past few weeks. VERY3 nice display from the France Team coupled with french background music, makes me feel like im in Paris...

BUT, I cant get enough of fireworks!!! GIMME2 MORE!!! and 2mrw I shall have.. for its the KOREAN team to display their stuff. Can't wait!!! and furthermore, I NID A BLOODY DSLR!!! my A400 isn't doing justice. most of e pics came out in an 'artistic' form... nonetheless, I WILL GET MY HANDS ON A QUALITY DSLR!!!

& I cant wait for 2mrw nites fireworks...

LePaKz DaYz...

2dae was'nt so bad. @ least I get to enjoy my personal time now dat NDP is over. But still life goes on and for my case, CEPP duties are back on track.

YESTERDAY (16/8)

Got detail in e evening. Wat da Heaven, and its at some workers dorm in woodlands some more. Turns out to be an event organised by MOM n we're there to support. Had to stay there till 10+ pm. The crowd mainly consists of foreigners from India, China, Filipino AND Bangladeshi to complete the "meriahness-ness"

DIS MORNING (17/8)

wide awake ( and 1/2 sleepy ) @ 8am. Another detail at 4th div. This time filipino maids. M1 & M2 as usual. Henry n Farhan running the show. Zul was losing conciousness. Wonder how he ride bike with dat state?? coz he was wif me y'dae @ wdlands. done n over by 12pm. THEN THE SKIES TURN GREY AND IT STARTED TO RAIN

Dats it la, so much for my sentosa plan wif my frens. Da lah last wk cancelled coz mus had to replace someone for guard duty. plan scrapped. But not today!!!

Plan goes on as normal. I've noticed that there are ppl who love to go to the beach during rainy days. of coz it was'nt a downpour, just the on/off type of rain.

later dat evening, we all head back to vivo for dinner. And supposedly a movie but did'nt happen coz nothing good was on. We're waiting for WALL.E & STAR WARS CLONE WARS !!! if possible, marathon both!!! yes...

As for dinner we had BK. Got our own stuff n addition we bought a QUADRUPLE WHOPPER. yes people you see n read dat correctly. FOUR PATTIES from the usual doubles. I tell you, very da satisfying. And we want to break the record of EIGHT PATTIES on a WHOPPER soon. giler la anak2 nie...

:: Shine for Singapore ::

43 years of Independence. Our young and vibrant Nation standing tall. A Big Celebration.

That saturday morning of 9 August will always be etched on every Singaporeans' mind. Its a day where no matter who you are, you're part of a festivity which has been raving on for the past few weeks. On that day itself, everywhere I turn, its a shade of RED & WHITE. Talk about painting the town red. Even the pinks look red, hehehe

Me and the rest of the CD contingent on the other hand, we're all getting busy preparing ourselves for the parade later that evening. Even though we went through alot to make this day happen, we can't forget all the fun times and memories during the training & rehearsals.

Then the moment came. At 1745 hrs Marina Bay went live on tv for the nation and the world to see. This year mother nature tested our perseverance with grey skies, thunderous echoes and drizzling rain from the heavens. But that does'nt dampen our spirits. We take it as a part of the show, some 'special effects' to make it "happening".

So when we marched into the Marina Bay platform, we bring nothing but joy and satisfaction telling us and the people that we have made it this far and its all paid off. Our faces, the participants and even the spectators themselves were showcased on tv. After the contingents formed up the "NDP 08" the whole audience applauded for us. Its hard for us NOT to smile. :D

Afterwards, the party still continue back at the FUP. We were given a toast to a job well done. I tell you every marching contingent that passed by us were cheered on, we went hysterical. Something that we all need after all that effort.

Although the whole celebration is over, I keep telling myself: "There will always be next year.."


HAPPY 43rd BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!!

TO ALL THE NDP PARTICIPANTS, THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES!!!

A value worth more then gold...

I am totally beat out... Y'dae I was running arnd camp lending my helping hand. End result got me drained of energy. Reach home and immediately went flat. Something which has'nt happened to me for a long time.

Sat, 02/08/08. NDP Preview.

Somehow I still dun feel like its enough for me. What seems to be a dream is finally becoming a reality for me. And to achieve one of your goals in life feels like its all worth the sweat, time and hardwork you put into it. In this case, to be a part of NDP.

When I thought I'd get another chance at NDP, my mindset was that we'd be on standby since my background job as a medic and all. But never I-M-A-G-I-N-E-D-ED I could wind up being part of a MARCHING CONTINGENT. Practically every die-hard patriots' dream to be part of.

What's rewarding is that I get to meet new (& old) people from different div, make new frenz and most importantly enjoy my time during the gruelling rehearsals with the rest of the gang from CDA (Ya'll noe who you are if you're reading this...) Without you guys, my weekends could've bore me to death. Big2 HOLLA & TKU to YOU who have made it possible.

But All Good Things Must Come to End. Even though we're THREE days away from the actual show itself, I'm glad that I've made this journey with all of you. It's things like these which are worth more than gold.

It'll all get better in time

August.

Seems yesterday that 2008 just came into our lives. And now its slowly seeping away. Took a day off from work (actually a couple of days for dis mth) to really R&R myself for 2mrw's NDP preview. @ last its goin to be over soon but dat means the fun's just started!!

For the love of Duty...

Im all beat out. Had to push myself through tuesday after doin SWIFT duty last night. I've been doing alot of duties lately. This is my third (n not to mention e other times where I'd stay over wif my other office peeps who are on duty dat dae).

No choice la, coz Osman was down and out with sickness n had to take MC. And yours truly had to cover for him. @ least I got the 1/2 day off.

SWIFT duties can be fun if u manage to round up a handful of ppl to stay over with you. Its kinda like a slumber party but NS style. Things like these will make your life in NS less stressful. Me on the other hand, I got my new junior Lukman as understudy to stay over with me. Im not too worried about him, just to over see him and guide him through the whole duty procedure and im surprised that he's oredi on e roll. Considering its his 1st duty. Wth, THE GUY IS A NURSING STUDENT WITH HOSPITAL EXPERIENCE. Medical Ctr would'nt be a prob for him.

So, no worries for moi.

Sun's not shining 2dae...(coz I am)

Its been a gloomy & cloudy weather these past few days. @ least we're spared from the heatwave which has been scorching our island (and us) over the last mth. I love this kind of environment. Makes my mind @ ease.

Downside is, cold/flu season is back in town...as usual. So here I am sniffing away while posting this...damn.

2mrw there's no ndp rehearsal. Good. After 3 whole weeks of NE shows, its about time we all have a break. Preview & Actual comin up nx wk btw. So for the time being, im contemplating on what n how to maximise my weekends. (hmm?? Ideas, ani1?) Im spoilt for choice nw... movie? photoshoot? LePaKzZz?

The next few weeks

Taking a break from work 2dae. And last week. Damn tired from all e usual routine @ e office, CEPP details and of course, NDP Rehearsals!!!!



So here's the wrap-up: It's now mid-July and we're into the 2nd NE show (last sat btw,) I can't believe time flies b4 ur eyes. Or maybe its me having fun, hahaha. YES we got da tix but its for last weeks' NDP NE 1. Guess how many we've got. One. Ya you read dat correctly, ONE MISERABLE TIX!! and there I was planning to invite my family to see their offspring as part of the parade. It's all down e drain. Even yan was having problems on whether to bring his GF or not. Eventually, He gave away e tix to me and I gave away to my fren who's dying to catch NDP for years. Glad she gt e chance.



Speaking of NDP, Fadz, yan, khair,yanto & me NEARLY gt dragged into CD day parade. All of us thought e rehearsals will b like NDP. We are sooo wrong. Can u imagine dat the rehearsals span over 3 times a week?!? n its more then the NDP rehearsals!! (nie mcm dtg camp juz 4 marching je, tkyah buat allocation) so we swapped places with the new instructors. And of coz, cikgoo was'nt pleased to hear that 5 of his guys get too involved with all this, so he suggested the newbies instead. Slamat.



CEPP one other hand, nothing interesting, same old2, rather boring dis mth. This time we've gt our band-spankin' new instructor Farhan frm 107 intake. I can see that he'll make a valuable asset to us.

Mid-Month Crisis

Im seriously torn to bits this time round. My thirst for self- excitement got me in a tangled up mess again. Its bad enough dat I did'nt went for just one stupid rehearsal and in turn made such a big fuss about it, I just cant seem to keep down my anxiety and anger levels.

Home is supposed to be a haven for the soul but its not looking that way for me. Its really stressful with the usual stubborn siblings, nagging parents and nagging parents who sides the siblings. I have nowhere to vent my anger except through this channel or a few like-minded individuals who understands. I even restart back my usual sporting habits which I've been lacking for the past few years.

But still I find problems somehow falling and dropping themselves on me and I dont rely on others to remedy the situation. I find my own way out. And thats where the anxiety and anger levels start to kick in.

Licensed to roll

This entry was supposed to be last saturday's but I'll throw it in today (coz Im overjoyed!!)

right, its all simple really. I passed my TP test. seriously. NO joke.

to think that I really2 flunked big time, but it was that instant that the tester told me that I "needed improvement" and started scribbling down my points. I was thanking god for helping me gettin 16 points. It was really a blessed day for me.

So back to reality, I still nid a car but that has to wait. Im still getting a hang on my dad's company van. Right nw its rather....jerky. Gimme a few wks.

Shining Hearts & Bleeding Arrows

Ah yes. Valentines day. Couples. Lovers. Married couples. And the people who wished they had one. Im under e last category btw.

OK2, despite all the advice n ppl tellin n askin me: "When you're gonna find her?" or "Dude, all of us are attached, n you're living a bachelor life..." Its nt that I DON'T wanna find one, just that I've gt restrictions. Yea, u might b thinkin dat im makin up excuses, but put yourself in my shoes, I've seen all kinds of relationships both e good n bad ones. And I Have a brief experience of what its like to be in one. I had to let it go coz of personal responsibilities and the fact that my own mom wont let me date ( SERIOUSLY ) coz she's gt freaked out and scared of all the sour relationships goin on arnd us and afraid that I might join the crowd. All this makes me feel insecure and that im doin things against my parent's will. Im really2 upset, angry, disappointed that I let a golden chance fly out of my hands. WTF, I've got friends who are in the same league as me, they've got themselves attached and their family accept that with happy hearts. WHY3 CANT I GET THAT SAME TREATMENT?!

You see now, all along I've been keepin my own heart and soul protected and its hard to open up to ppl esp if you're the type who have been caged all this time becoz you don't want to ruin your relationship. Technically, my friends are all the social circle I have left. But even they have their own lives to lead. Most are attached nw which leaves me pretty much alone most of the time.

Yes, there's family but I need balance. Seems that everybody has their own freedom key and im e only one locked in. All this time I've been puttin up a mask to hide the real face. I don't want people to see this as a weakness or loserface. Just that this problem has been around for years and there's no confirmed solution to it yet. And whatever emotions or feelings I have from that time onwards, I don't want to expose it too much.

5 SENSES

I Speak, Just not heard.

I See, At times out of sight

I Hear, With silent screams

I Feel, Emotional Waves

I Taste, Sweet joy, Bitter Pain

Red Oranges

Long weekend. yay. CNY celebrations. Go figure.

This means I can slack all I want throughout the weekend. Cant find much to do anyway. Went out y'dae and today. About 70% of the retail stores are closed for the season. Vivo, IMM n even down @ Jln Sultan its all e same picture. Even traffic are less chaotic. That's the positive.

Negative part is that I kept on thinking, why some ppl bothered to continue with their daily work routine. Even on public holidays they kept striding on. No wonder our economy's booming.
Hard work = Good Break. That's my formula for maintaining success.

February.

Seems like Jan never came by and suddenly its one month gone. Situations are somewhat same. Practically everybody's caught up with work and nothing else. Am I becoming too redundant? or that if I overworked myself I would end up in a stressful circle like before. Each weekend when I've gt nothing on e agenda, I try to cheer myself by hangin out wif my friends, but this time its a totally different story now. Each and one is occupied with thier own lives. There's time where I cld go months on end w/o seeing them. When we meet up its only a couple of hrs then disappear again. Where does this leave me now? Start all over again? keep on waiting or walk on alone?

What's on my Mind (Part 1)

I can't take it any longer.
I've been holding on this far.
So much emotions and feelings.
No exit, and far from solution.
This devastation's giving me a contusion.

Home is where the situation dwell
For days and months it start to swell
This kid will be a new generation
And Im facing damnation

"I'll do my Best" that's what I say
Now, bear the price which I have to pay
I've tried many means, many ways
But all that comes down to this day

Innocent Emotions now hurting me
Can't sleep at night, they won't let me be
Tired and restless all night,
Success is far from sight

Flesh and blood come as one
I feel like I am none
Thoughts of negativity began to engulf
yeah, it's true. I can't bluff
Suicidal and Deathly images,
are my only means of expression
Hard to put them away, Im experiencing DEPRESSION